


winter is warm with you

by JustMint



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 03:11:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18437813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustMint/pseuds/JustMint
Summary: Oikawa hates Winter.





	winter is warm with you

“It’s really coming down heavy today,” Oikawa droned, eyes stuck to the pearly sky as he leaned his forehead against the window glass to their apartment.

 

Kageyama was sorting through the cupboards in the small kitchen. They had way too many expired products that – last he remembered – were touched the last time it entered the cupboards.

 

“What is?” he asked distractedly.

 

“The snow, Tobio-chan,” Oikawa said. He peeled his head away from glass to send a questioning look his boyfriend’s way. “What are you doing?”

 

To think he had the audacity to even ask such a question with his own very mouth. Kageyama turned to him with a defensive look.

 

“Sorting the kitchen out as _you_ suggested?” he scowled at the brunet who had both proposed and ditched the enthralling activity that Kageyama was going through alone, so enthralling he wondered why was he the one doing it in the first place when more than half the stuff was bought by his I-haven’t-tried-this-so-I-need-to-get-it boyfriend.

 

“Just leave it then~ we can do that tomorrow or something,” Oikawa said, smiling cheekily at Kageyama.

 

“So basically, never sort it?”

 

“You know me so well, Tobio-chan!” Oikawa clapped his hands gingerly together in. When Kageyama sent him a death glare in response, the flippant brunet let off a hearty laugh.

 

“The only reason I’m doing this is because you refused to go out. We could be out there playing with the snow,” the younger complained with a grumpy pout.

 

“You don’t even like the snow.”

 

“Yes I do!”

 

“Yeah but never in a way that you’d wanna play in them. What are you, five?”

 

“At least I’m not the one who acts like a baby all the time,” Kageyama snarled.

 

“Correction; _your_ baby, _baby,_ ” Oikawa winked.

 

Kageyama scoffed. He planned on carrying on with the chores, conveniently disregarding his lover, but when the annoying said lover pranced across the room to get all up in his space, hindering him of his movements with a face that shone of roguish plotting, he sighed tiredly.

 

Oikawa tilted his head and began to bargain in a cooing voice, “I don’t like the snow, you know that. It’s freezing and I feel the cold hurting me, my bones start aching and my nose start feeling blocked, it’s just not a good season, Tobio-chan.”

 

“Whatever,” Kageyama brushed off half-heartedly with a small frown, cans of expired beans in his hand. He tried to move past Oikawa, but the taller male didn’t budge; merely shooting him a challenging look with a lopsided grin.

 

The sharpest lour etched onto Kageyama's face. He noticed, in the midst of glaring at his stupidly obstinate boyfriend, that he had to tilt his head upward slightly more than usual. He stood backward.

 

“Have you grown taller?” Kageyama asked.

 

Oikawa could spot the distaste in his tone. He smirked ever so tauntingly. Not a day had passed since he started dating Kageyama that he didn’t enjoy making fun (with love of course, thought Oikawa) or teasing (affectionately, Oikawa added) the black headed boy.

 

“Why yes, I believe so,” he smirked.

 

Setting down the cans on the counter, Kageyama folded his arms in pique.

 

“How is that even possible?” he questioned in disbelief.

 

“Now now, don’t be jealous, it’s just an inch or so, plus, I’m still a growing kid, only twenty one years young,” Oikawa grinned. He brushed a few strands of hair out of Kageyama’s face. Although he did just claimed that he loved teasing Kageyama, he could never find it in himself to hold out much long nowadays. “Your hair is getting longer-”

 

His phone started ringing in the bedroom with the faintest sound. It was nearly miraculous that he caught that. He went into the bedroom, quickly locating his phone in the heart of their bed.

 

“Who is it?” Kageyama called from the kitchen.

 

“Oh, it’s just Iwa-chan, I’ll call him back later,” Oikawa said as he shut off his phone.

 

The room was empty when he headed back to the living area. He found Kageyama gone from the kitchen. He glanced around the room.

 

“Tobio-chan?”

 

“What?” Kageyama popped his head up from under the counter. He stood up, now holding a poorly opened bag of candies. He stared curiously at Oikawa, frowning when Oikawa made no form of utterance. “If you’re just gonna annoy me all day, might as well go play with Iwaizumi-san or something, I’m not gonna do this anymore, there’s too many things in here, let’s just leave them to rot- ah, but technically, they’re rotting already,” Kageyama said, slowly immersing into his own ramble. “Look at this candy, the packaging became so crisp that it tore like paper when I opened it-”

 

He had been so immersed in his complaint that he failed to register movement from across the room, maneuvering from the doorway of their bedroom to the heart of their apartment, then all the way to right before his bright, ocean blue eyes. And as warm hands cupped protectively around his cheeks, Kageyama felt heat against his soft lips.

 

When their lips parted tenderly, Kageyama felt Oikawa’s breath of arrant relief.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” Kageyama asked with the smallest voice, as if careful not to startle a frightened deer.

 

“I’m cold,” Oikawa said after a pause. “So cold I wanna fuck you right here just to get warm.”

 

It would’ve been a romantically sweet and lovely moment for the lovers to share; smash of the lips, followed by endearing gazes, then maybe something along the lines that weren’t this shameless to be continued in the bedroom … but noooooo, Oikawa just had to say something that was sure to harden the frown on Kageyama’s beautiful face and send a brutal jab into Oikawa abdomen. Oikawa coughed immediately from the vicious contact.

 

“That's domestic violence, Tobio-chan, I could sue you,” Oikawa said with a brokenly hoarse voice.

 

“Get a blanket and leave me alone,” Kageyama said coldly. He turned around and began putting a few of the groceries laid messily all over the floor into a garbage bag.

 

Oikawa didn’t make a peep for the next twenty minute or so. He spent the whole time watching, studying, marveling in the way Kageyama’s lips would mouth some words unknowingly every now and then as he moved around the house, the way his hair swayed so elegantly Oikawa thought if the sight was played in slow motion, it’d looked magnificent, and the way his lean arms reached out for something and the bones and muscles presented themselves like works of art. Everything about Kageyama Tobio was aesthetic to Oikawa Tooru.

 

 _He lost weight,_ Oikawa mused, head rested on one side of the armrest and the back of his knees hooking nicely over the other armrest.

 

It was a two seated couch, he should have bought the three seated ones for comfort, he figured, but in order to attain the slightest yet extra closeness for any time they sat on the couch, he thought it was immensely wise of him to choose the two seated ones.

 

“Tobio-chan.” 

 

“Hm?” 

 

“Come over here.”

 

Kageyama didn't budge. But after a short while, Oikawa heard little grunts and shuffles. Next minute, Kageyama was standing by the couch, gazing at the brunet with a tad too much annoyance in his eyes.

 

“What do you want?” He grumbled. Irked his voice may sound, but Oikawa could spot those tiny specks of adoration in Kageyama’s eyes any day. Despite all the groans and frowns, he knew very well Kageyama actually liked it when Oikawa annoy him incessantly.

 

Oikawa spread his arms, signaling for Kageyama to join him.

 

With another grunt, Kageyama not-so-grudgingly joined the older male. He slumped onto Oikawa’s chest unabashedly. Not at all affected by the whine Oikawa let loose when he threw his entire body weight onto the brunet.

 

“I know you’re smaller but you’re not exactly petite, are you? You almost knocked the life out of me,” Oikawa said, feigning a dramatic cough.

 

“Shut up,” Kageyama reached ahead of him without looking up, patting vaguely at Oikawa’s face.

 

Oikawa happily obliged. He held Kageyama in his arms, closing his eyes and feeling his warmth. He buried his nose into those inky locks and breathed in. The exact scent that never failed to ease him.

 

“Tobio-chan," He said softly.

 

“What,” Kageyama's voice beginning to sound sleepy already.

 

“I read the other day that penguins mate for life, did you know that?”

 

“Not really.”

 

“When I read that, I instantly thought ‘ah, then Tobio-chan’s my penguin’, romantic, aren’t I?”

 

Kageyama clucked his tongue in most probably a mingling of annoyance and embarassment. Oikawa chuckled softly, then ran his hand gently through Kageyama’s hair.

 

“I love you,” Oikawa said.

 

“Yeah …”

 

Oikawa took a look at the head resting upon his chest. “ _Yeah_? that’s it? how dare you!”

 

A faint chuckle sounded from the round head below his chin. The way Kageyama’s laughter sent light vibration through his chest, he could never get enough of it.

 

“I love you too, Oikawa-san.”

 

“How much?”

 

“Are you kidding me?”

 

“Clearly not enough if you cant answer that,” Oikawa huffed childishly.

 

“A lot. I love you the most. Happy?”

 

Oikawa smiled. He had heard it many times. But never once did it cease to flood Oikawa with a sort of overwhelming affection for Kageyama.

 

“I love you the most too, Tobio-chan …" Oikawa squeezed Kageyama closer. "I want to-… let’s be … together forever, okay?”

 

Kageyama didn't answer immediately. When he finally did, he lifted his head, craning it to take a good look at Oikawa. His eyes just slightly wider with a curious glint.

 

“Is that a proposal?” he asked.

 

Oikawa was taken aback by the question. He smirked roguishly.

 

“It certainly wasn't in my mind. But did you want it to be? Is that what you hear? My my, is this  _your_  proposal to  _me_  instead?” 

 

The once soft looking blue eyes vanished like a wisp of smoke as a hard glower set in. Kageyama hoisted himself up, vicious nails digging into Oikawa's chest purposefully while doing so.

 

“What- OW!” Oikawa hugged the struggling figure that was threatening to leave his arms despite the painful throb upon his skin. “Hey- OK- hold on- wait- I'm sorry! I'm sorry for teasing you! OK? Don't go. Please."

 

Kageyama absolutely did not want to stay. And it definitely wasn't because of the gentle look in Oikawa's handsome face that made him give in as he slumped harshly back in his arms.

 

"Gosh you're a handful ..." Oikawa's hands returned to Kageyama's hair as he watched Kageyama's soft hair slip through his fingers repeatedly. Then his hands stilled.

 

"Marry me, Tobio."

 

Kageyama froze.

 

"What?"

 

"Marry me. I can’t live without you. Not a single day would be bearable if you’re not beside me… so marry me … stay with me forever.”

 

Kageyama looked at a lost, for words, for emotions. He felt dizzy. His head was a mess. He was confused as to whether Oikawa had spouted another nonsensical joke. He had the urge to cry, to break into the biggest smile. He wanted to cuss Oikawa out for throwing that out all of a sudden because he was definitely not ready for it. He was overwhelmed, with immense adoration for this stupid man, with ridiculously strong happiness for what he just said, with mountains of countless emotions because of this man he called his lover.

 

With a big grin and crinkled stars in his eyes, Kageyama nodded. "Yes please."

 

 

 

 

 

Oikawa opened his eyes slowly. He was a little disorientated. What time was it? He looked at the sleeping boy on his chest and laughed a little.

 

"Is this how we do it, Tobio-chan? Celebrate our engagement by napping?" He said lightly, not much to Kageyama but to himself. "Maybe I should run by the groceries store and prepare something nice tonight."

 

Kageyama stirred.

 

"Are you going out?" He asked, sitting up, all the whilst rubbing the grogginess out of his eyes. 

 

Oikawa took the chance to stretch his arms out, hearing the sounds of cracking under his skin.

 

"Yeah, or should we just call for deliveries?"

 

Kageyama shook his head. The motion accompanied with his sleepy blinks was so inexplicably adorable that Oikawa had to stop himself physically from squeezing his cheeks and planting kisses all over his face.

 

"Let's go out."

 

"What do you want? We could just call of it. There's no need to go out," Oikawa said casually after a pause.

 

"But it's been a while since we ate out," Kageyama insisted with a hopeful look.

 

"How about we prepare it ourselves? I'll go buy the ingredients and we'll make it together."

 

"Then let's go to the store together." Kageyama added eagerly.

 

"No, you can stay home. I'll go."

 

"Why? I wanna go with you."

 

"There's no need."

 

"I can help with-"

 

"No, Tobio." Oikawa said with finality.

 

Kageyama's bubbly expression waned, and so did his voice. He had more to say. Oikawa could tell. 

 

"You never want me to go out with you anymore ..." he said in a tiny voice.

 

Oikawa felt as if he was choking internally. His insides were churned. There was a prominently heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach and his throat burned.

 

"Let's just ... let's just call for deliveries OK?" Oikawa said with a croaky voice. He brushed his knuckles against Kageyama's cheek and was relieved when Kageyama leaned into the touch. "I'm gonna go take a shower, you wanna come with?"

 

Kageyama shook his head. "I'll shower after dinner."

 

Oikawa dropped a feather-light kiss upon Kageyama's temple, and headed for the bathroom. When he came back after a long, pensive shower, he found Kageyama at the dining table, attention fixated on something in his hand. He scrubbed his face violently, and sighed. With a forceful stretch of his lips, he hoped he had on a rather convincing smile as he approached his lover.

 

"What are you looking at?"

 

“Oh nothing," Kageyama shrugged. "Just going through pictures of us that we took last fall."

 

"Pictures?" 

 

Oikawa stopped in his tracks. He wished he heard it wrong. The damp towel that had been hanging around his neck dropped limply onto the wooden floor.

 

"Yeah."

 

There was an amplified silence in the air. Oikawa stood as he stared, at a complete lost for words as anxiety scratch at his skin … Kageyama swiped through the pictures with an empty look on his face, he seemed almost ... confused.

 

That was all that was threatening to snatch whatever Oikawa had in his life before him, right now, right this instant. He bolted up instantly, face running pale, eyes flickering in apprehension and utter fear. The phone, That was Oikawa's phone ... Kageyama’s phone was in a box tightly shut away in his closet … Kageyama was going through pictures that Oikawa never went back to after snapping them.

 

“Tobio …” Oikawa breathed. Why was he worried? There was nothing to worried about. But fear ... the same fear was coming back ... He ran to the table where Kageyama sat. With a hasty snatch, Oikawa had his own phone in his hand. It was okay, he just needed to shut it off, there was no need to see what was in the pictures, there's nothing special about them, surely Kageyama was in them as well ...

 

“Oikawa-san."

 

"Y-yeah?"

 

Kageyama had a look on his face. He's concerned. He's slightly disgruntled. _No, no, something’s wrong._  Oikawa was sure this shouldn’t be happening. _What went wrong. How did this happened. It’s not supposed to go this way._  Oikawa could hear his frantic heartbeat in his ears. He had to stop this.

 

“Tobio, please … please,” He said urgently, his hand gripping tightly around the phone, his breath hitched. “Let’s just … um- lie down and watch TV or something … so please …”

 

“Oikawa-san, why-” Kageyama said, and stopped himself when the usually mischievous, childishly cheeky male before him let tears stream down his cheek for the first time. He didn’t remember ever seeing Oikawa cried before.

 

Despite tending to carry a flippant air, Kageyama's lover was always strong, prideful, and extremely stubborn that he’d never let Kageyama see the weak side of him. It was never seen as a barrier to their connection and closeness, but rather, Kageyama looked on it with great fondness, that Oikawa was so deeply in love with him that he wanted to make sure Kageyama knew he was worthy of being his partner … Kageyama always knew … but maybe he never got the chance to tell him.

 

He walked to the crying boy. So wonderfully gently, he brushed his thumb over Oikawa’s cheek, barely wiping away the precious tears. Kageyama smiled the smallest yet most loving one.

 

“Why are you crying, Tooru?” he asked, voice so sweet and tender Oikawa felt it would've calmed him down if he weren't so mentally strained right now.

 

“Please don’t leave, Tobio, please, I beg you,” Oikawa cried even more.

 

“Why do think I would leave you …?” Kageyama asked as he looked earnestly into Oikawa’s eyes.

 

“Please don’t leave ... anything but that, please ...” Oikawa’s voice trembled.

 

“Tooru …” said Kageyama's gentle voice, so gentle and quiet Oikawa thought the boy was losing his voice.

 

“No …” Oikawa shook his head angrily, tears still pooling around the corner of his eyes and rushing down, blurring his vision no matter how hard he blinked. “No … The pictures … I shouldn’t have taken them, I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry, please don’t go, please!”

 

“Tooru, I’m not in any of them … you know why, right?” Kageyama asked, his own eyes tearing up.

 

Oikawa shook his head harder. He didn’t want to hear why. No, he didn’t know, he didn’t need to know. _This is the worst._ This was his worst nightmare. He had tried everything, did everything so that this Kageyama, the only Kageyama left,  _his_  Kageyama wouldn’t leave him.

 

“Isn’t it time?” Kageyama said softly. “It’s been almost a year, winter is here again … isn’t that why you made me look at these photos? I can’t touch it, Tooru. But you … _you_ let me hold it, because deep down you know it’s time.”

 

Kageyama wrapped his hand around Oikawa’s which held the phone. He smiled once again, this time visibly in pain. “Look at the phone, Tooru, none of this is real-”

 

“NO!!!” Oikawa’s broken voice pierced the air sharply. So much sorrow and pain bled in his tone, Oikawa couldn’t even recognize his voice. “Please- stop! Please! No more! I beg you! Please …”

 

“But Tooru.  _You’re_  making me say all these… It means you’re ready.”

 

Oikawa let his head fall, his eyes now fixating on the floor in fury, dew plopping deafeningly onto the wooden panel. Only shadow belonged to one person found in it.

 

“You're ready, Tooru. I know you are.” Kageyama said. And for the first time in this whole past year, Oikawa could see Kageyama rest his head onto his shoulder, snake his arms warmly around his torso … and felt nothing, no weight, no warmth …

 

“I need more time … please … it’s not enough … I … I need more time …” Oikawa sobbed. He could see his tears dropping onto Kageyama’s shoulder but hear it resounding loudly on the floor. “Not yet … Tobio, please … not yet …”

 

It felt like he was bargaining with his own brain, begging his mind to not let the last piece of Kageyama vanish, begging his head to not take the one thing he held dearest to his heart away from him, again.

 

“If you aren’t ready, this wouldn’t happen, Tooru,” Kageyama patted Oikawa’s head. His voice was fainting.

 

“No! I'm not! I swear!” he said in panic. “I’m not! I don’t know why this is happening! I really don’t! Please don’t decide it for me! I’m not ready! I’m not! Please believe me!”

 

“I love you, Tooru ... I love you so much ..." Kageyama planted the lightest kiss on Oikawa's lips. "Come see me, please.”

 

Oikawa choked as Kageyama let him go. He fell to the ground, grasping as hard for air as he was at his heart. The pain, the stabbing, the burning in his heart; anything, anything at all that could ease it, please, Oikawa needed it. He scratched pathetically at his chest, and let the biggest, wounded scream loose. He howled as tears blurred everything. He could barely feel himself crying physically but the pain in his heart was so palpable he was sure he was dying … he was running out of breath, he was dying … he needed oxygen, he needed Kageyama so he could stop feeling himself dying in execrable pain.

 

Another scream, piercing and sorrowful … one after the other, as if the more he let out, the more pain he could relieve. One after the other, his throat dried up and went ablaze. One after the other … the wound in his heart only tore bigger and bigger. He crumbled on the floor, feeling himself losing his mind as time passed.

 

After God knows how long, Oikawa finally, weakly propped himself up. He wiped away his tears but it still hadn’t stop. Sniffling harshly as his nose was uncomfortably blocked, he looked around the apartment. He scanned over the cupboards that never opened in the first place, the chair that was never pulled up from the table, the sneakers that Kageyama loved never moving from that position since forever, the phone in his hand that wasn’t even turned on in the first place, and the empty apartment that Kageyama hadn’t walked in since last winter …

 

Oikawa felt his head throbbed, it hurt so much. Everything hurt so much. He told himself to shut that memory off, no need to review it ever again in his entire life as he live peacefully with Kageyama. The sight, the smell, the blood, the car, the person lying in front of the vehicle … the person dying … no … none of it was real … only the Kageyama that had been with him for the past whole year was real …

 

Then why was he replaying everything like a broken record, the scene, the place, the people, everything was playing clearly in his head. Kageyama’s on the phone’s receiver … “Hey, I’m be home a little later, okay? I’m going to the convenience store beside the usual café.”

 

Oikawa heard his own voice, so happy then, so …  _alive_. “Eh? Why? There’ one down by our apartment, why do you have to go so far?”

 

“It’s just a few blocks farther, whatever, you’re annoying, I’m hanging up,” Kageyama sounded really happy too, it wasn’t obvious, but Oikawa could hear it even in the slightest tone. 

 

Oikawa could see everything … the sight from the car shield window, the pedestrians passing as he came to a red light, the red car parked right in front of him as his car drove smoothly into the parking spot behind it…

 

The view as he looked through the side window from across the street, the beautiful black hair popping into vision with the owner together, the sight of Kageyama walking up to the counter and paying for his stuff, the sensation of tapping on his phone as he brought it to his ears, the sound of the beeping as he waited for Kageyama to pick up and he watched him pick it up…

 

The immense bubbling happiness as Kageyama met his eyes as soon as he came out of the store with his phone to his ears, the sweet sound of Kageyama saying ‘hello?’ before instantly smiling, the way Kageyama chuckled lightly even though Oikawa didn’t hear it when Oikawa told him through the phone ‘aren’t I a good boyfriend? Picking his boyfriend up as soon as he knew he’d have to walk a long way in this snow back to their apartment.’…

 

And the way Oikawa missed whatever Kageyama almost said as he dropped his phone on the way across the street … then he went back to get it. Then everything became so fast, so hurried, and so unforgiving.

 

Why did the car rushed out of nowhere? Where were they heading that they needed to drive this fast? Why didn’t Kageyama see it? Why did Oikawa called? Why did Kageyama drop his phone? Why didn’t Oikawa move when he saw it? Why couldn’t he move? Why didn’t he run to push Kageyama out of the way? Why didn’t the world give Oikawa just a few seconds to get there just in time? Why did the world itself … let Oikawa see  _his world_  shatter into debris right in front of him.

 

Oikawa planted his eyes in his palm; it hurt worse than getting stabbed.

 

“I can’t fucking do this,” he mumbled, voice broken and nasally. He sighed, before breaking into more tears.

 

 

 

 

 

“I'm here, Tobio-chan,” He said with a poorly put up chirpy voice. Even now, he feel like crumbling and cry like a baby. But he promised himself he’d hold it in, at least while he was here.

 

Oikawa walked closer and crouched down. He sniffed, the snow was pretty heavy this year, he could feel his nostrils freezing up.

 

“What pretty carvings you have,” Oikawa said, studying the proud stone before him. He called it proud only because it was a tomb engraved with Kageyama Tobio’s name … and only Kageyama Tobio’s tomb could be called a proud stone. 

 

Oikawa thumped his head against the tomb, he laughed.

 

“I’m trying so hard not to cry, Tobio-chan,” he said, tears already welling up thickly in his eyes. He rubbed at them with the ball of his palms, then breathed into the sky as he glanced over the white veiling. “why did you leave me here alone …” he cast his gaze at his feet, then looked up with a smile and began brushing lightly at the snow lathering above the gray stone.

 

Peering around the vicinity, Oikawa found only one family at the far end of the row below Kageyama’s tomb.

 

“Not a lot of neighbors, huh?” He said, still eyeing the surrounding stones. He smiled suddenly. “Well, never mind, you real home is the one you shared with me- ah, and maybe the one you lived in with your parents … but mostly the one shared with me, don’t tell your parents.”

 

Oikawa sighed, still smiling. Though his smile was slowly turning into a sad one. His lips began trembling and his eyes started burning with tears that had yet to trickle onto his cheeks.

 

He kneeled down and hugged the stone, forehead resting against the carvings. “I miss you. I miss you so fucking much,” he whispered with a shaking voice. “I can’t tell you to come home with me … but I’ll come to you when my time is up … please wait for me until then, Tobio.”

 

“Excuse me.”

 

Although it was private moment for him and Kageyama, he figured if any other ghost wanted to scare him to death, they were fairly capable of it since Oikawa was technically in their tuft. He froze for a second, before slowly … painfully slowly turned his head to his side.

 

“Excuse me,” a little ghost said again impassively.

 

“Yes?” Oikawa didn’t even realize he replied.

 

“My mom said I can’t just take other people’s flower so I’m returning it, but you’re blocking the stone.”

 

“Oh …  _Oh_ ,” Oikawa said heavily, before he registered what the little girl said and instantly felt offended. He peeled himself away from Kageyama, rested his palm on his hip haughtily, and wiped away his tears embarrassingly. “You took this guy’s flower?”

 

“I didn’t know I couldn’t do that,” the little girl said, no sign of remorse in her tone or face.

 

Oikawa turned to Kageyama’s tomb as if looking at the real thing, he raised an eyebrow, mentally asking for permission to maybe throat punch the little girl right then and there.

 

If Kageyama could answer, Oikawa had no doubt he wouldn't frowned the way he always did and eyeballed Oikawa like he was the filth underneath his soles. He turned back to the little girl. She was jutting her lips out annoyingly, clearly conveying to Oikawa that he was wasting her precious time.

 

He barely managed another word when the little girl decided to move on her own accord. It wasn’t as if she was waiting for Oikawa’s approval or forgiveness.

 

Placing the flower back before Kageyama’s tomb, she gave Oikawa a bored glance, then, went back to her family.

 

“And here I thought I wanted to adopt tons of kids after we get married,” Oikawa sighed.

 

He crouched down again, fixing the flower that had toppled over.

 

“Hey, Tobio-chan, let’s get married when I die too, okay?” he said with the softest smile yet, before the expression toppled and flipped over into an alarmingly distraught look of horror. “I forgot to get you flowers! Damn it, I was too distracted driving here! Hey, you’ll forgive me right? I’ll replace one tomorrow … and I’ll bring your favorite food the day after that … and your favorite drink the day after that …”

 

He was asking for Kageyama’s permission to visit him every day. Oikawa knew Kageyama wouldn’t like it.

 

“It’s not like I’m won’t be living my life properly …” Oikawa bargained despite the percentage of getting a response was a perfect zero. “I promise I won’t stick around for too long … just two hours top!”

 

He smiled sadly. What would he give to hear Kageyama reply just one more time.

 

For the next hour and a half, Oikawa sat beside the stone, leaning his head against the side of it, and went on talking about anything and everything. And for the first time in forever, he felt his heart getting lighter. Of course, the pain was still fresh and he felt it in the deep of his heart … but for once, he thought he could live with it. It would only be years from now that he’d meet Kageyama again. He can wait.

 

 

 

 

 

 He cracked his knuckles loudly, the snapping sounds so loud Oikawa thought he broke his fingers.

 

“Being old ain’t fun,” he said light-heartedly with his weak and croaky voice. “Any little sounds make you think you broke something, goodness.”

 

Oikawa strolled slowly across the room to get to the front door. He stopped as soon as he reached the door. Snapping his fingers feebly, he turned back around. “My coat … can’t forget that or I’ll die just like you, Tobio-chan.”

 

After grabbing his coat that looked a tad too tattered – the fur etched onto the edge of the hood was frizzy and scarce, the zipper barely worked anymore, and some patches of the coat’s skin were thinning to the point of tearing – Oikawa wrapped his scarf around his neck. “I’m off to see the you in a casket, darling, goodbye,” he announced into thin air, and went out the door.

 

For the past decades, Oikawa had willingly visited the graveyard every single day. It was as he promised, he stayed for two hours tops every day, talking about what happened and what he might do tomorrow. Although Oikawa would always be talking randomly into the air at home as if Kageyama was there, he never ran out of new things to tell his loved one when he arrived in the cemetery. He had assured Kageyama that he wasn’t hallucinating, he was purely warmed at the thought of Kageyama being with him wherever he went.

 

As years passed by, however, due to old age, Oikawa found driving tiring and dangerous. So, he sold off his car, moved out of the apartment he shared with Kageyama (extremely unwillingly), and settled down in a small house near the graveyard so that it was within walking distance and he wouldn’t freeze to death in the middle of walking to it during Winter days.

 

“Gosh, it’s so fucking cold today, isn’t it?” Oikawa said, feeling snow collecting atop of his head. He brushed at it. “Damn, I forgot to get my hat, being old also means no more thick, luscious hair, what a sad life.”

 

Oikawa sat on the chair perched quietly beside Kageyama’s tomb. It had been there for the longest time. Apparently, without Oikawa noticing, there were actually guards guarding the graveyard. Oikawa had lost count of how many guards had they switched over the years. They couldn’t be blamed, really. Guarding a graveyard, even in the dead of nights, he’d quit too if he was sane.

 

The last few that Oikawa got to know was the ones who set up the chair beside the stone. As much as he would like to fend, he  _was_  extremely old. If cracking fingers made him feel like his bones were snapping, he definitely would not have enjoyed crouching down, sitting on the floor, then climb up all over again.

 

“You know, I almost forgot my coat today. See this ugly coat? Do you remember it? It’s yours. I think it was your favorite. Ah well, it’s mine now. I kept myself in my best shape so that I could fit in it, and I took such good care of it that it’s still wearable …” Oikawa laughed.

 

He looked into the sky as snow fell upon his face. It was freezing. The pavements, the roofs, the cars, anything that he could set eyes on were layered in thick white. Even the air he blew from his mouth. Oikawa felt comfortable despite the cold. For the first time in decades, he liked the feeling of snow flaking over his wrinkled-filled face. He shut his eyes, basking in the chilly wind.

 

“Tobio-chan, lately … I miss you more than usual …” Oikawa mumbled. One of his arms was propped protectively over Kageyama’s tomb as always, the other resting on his side with his hand propped nicely on his thigh. He tapped slowly on his knee; a beat that he heard on the radio. He could never get the words right anymore as he would when he was young. Now it was ragged beat and confused humming.

 

Oikawa wanted to tell Kageyama about the new song that came out. He had always complained about the new generation’s song being crappy, but on rare occasion, he’d take a liking to one or two new songs and come telling Kageyama excitedly. He wanted to hum or maybe even sing to Kageyama if he could remember the lyrics. He wanted to chat … but he was feeling sleepy.

 

The snow was kind him today, Oikawa decided. As he fell asleep in the warmth found in snowflakes, in the seat beside the tomb of the love of his life, in the hour that proclaimed his time on earth, in the second that he returned to his loved one.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading. i love you guys bye :)
> 
>  
> 
> <https://velvloid.tumblr.com/post/185386289514/i-cry-because-of-this-fic-what-i-make-is-the>  
> 
> 
> ANDDD the prettiest soul made the prettiest depiction of what the afterlife for them looked like. check it out guysss~


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